How To Make People Respect You
Over the years — as a coach, mother, partner, and former founder of a health company I led for five years — I’ve come to understand just how powerful communication can be in shaping how others experience you. Through both the highs and heartbreaks of past relationships, I’ve learned that real respect isn’t something you ask for. It’s something you embody. It’s in your presence, your energy, and the way you choose to speak — even when it would be easier to stay silent or lash out.
1. Don’t Talk to Be Liked — Speak to Lead
There’s a world of difference between craving acceptance and truly stepping into your power. I know, because I’ve lived that gap. I used to tiptoe around my truth, softening my words so I wouldn’t ruffle feathers, dimming my light just to keep the peace. In past relationships, in business meetings, I caught myself shrinking to fit into what felt safe. But the turning point came when I chose to speak from a place of grounded clarity, not to prove anything, but because my voice mattered to me. That shift changed everything. I stopped waiting for validation. I stopped editing my truth to be more palatable. Leadership doesn’t begin when others approve of you — it begins the moment you give yourself permission to be fully seen and heard. That’s where real power lives.
2. Ditch the Doubt Words
“I think…” “I feel like…” — I used to lean on these all the time. Especially in business meetings, or when I was pitching ideas while running my health company. I didn’t even realize how often I was softening my voice — padding my truth with hesitation, just in case I wasn’t totally right. But over time, I noticed something: every time I led with doubt, people responded with doubt. The moment I started owning my message — clearly, confidently, no disclaimers — things changed. My words landed differently. People listened. Energy shifted. Try replacing “I think we should…” with “Here’s what will move us forward.” It’s not about being forceful — it’s about trusting the wisdom that already lives inside you. That’s where your strength is.
3. Keep Emotion in Check — Not Out of the Room
As a Brazilian-Dutch woman, I’ve always felt things deeply. It’s in our nature — we feel, and we express. Passionately, wholeheartedly, sometimes loudly. Expressing myself has always come naturally, whether through movement, words, or energy. But over the years, I’ve come to understand that while emotion is a gift, it’s also one that needs wise direction. In the past, especially in heated moments, whether in love, conversations with friends, or while running my business, I’d let that emotional fire lead. But I’ve learned that when we speak from a charged place, our message can get lost in the noise. Now, I teach what I’ve learned: feel fully, but lead with presence. Breathe. Center yourself. Let the fire fuel your words, not burn through them. Calm is magnetic. Presence is powerful. And true expression? It doesn’t need to shout to be heard.
““Speak from your center, not your storm”
4. Lead With Certainty, Even in New Spaces
As I’ve grown through my own journey — from running a health company, navigating relationships, becoming a mother, and stepping fully into my role as a coach — I’ve resonated deeply with something Steven Bartlett shares: the four pillars every impactful leader needs. These aren’t just business principles — they’re foundations for building a meaningful, aligned life.
Pillar 1: The Self
Everything starts here. Before you lead others, you must know who you are. I had to do this work myself — stripping back the layers of who I thought I should be, to reconnect with the woman I really am. The Self is your center. It’s your values, your vision, your inner compass. For me, it meant healing, unlearning, and rediscovering my worth beyond roles or achievements. If you’re not anchored in who you are, it’s easy to be swayed by doubt or external noise. But when you know yourself deeply, you become unshakable.
Pillar 2: The Story
Your story is your power. For years, I downplayed parts of mine — the struggles, the heartbreaks, my health journey, the lessons from my past relationships and business experiences. But it’s in those very stories that my strength lives. And I’ve learned: people don’t connect to perfection, they connect to truth. The story isn’t about being a victim — it’s about owning your narrative and transforming pain into purpose. That’s what I help my clients do, and it starts by doing it within ourselves first.
Pillar 3: The Philosophy
What do you stand for? This is the lens through which you make decisions, lead, and live. My philosophy has been shaped by intuition, holistic wellness, emotional intelligence, and grounded leadership. It’s why I coach the way I do. Your philosophy is what people feel when they interact with you — it’s what creates trust, integrity, and impact. It’s not about saying the “right thing.” It’s about living in alignment with your truth.
Pillar 4: The Team
No one does this alone. Whether it’s in business, motherhood, or life, the people around you matter. I’ve had seasons where I tried to do it all myself. But the truth is, your team, your partner, your friends, your coaches, your collaborators can either elevate you or drain you. Now, I’m intentional with who I let in. I surround myself with people who challenge me, believe in me, and hold me to my highest. A strong team is a reflection of how much you value your energy, your time, and your vision. These four pillars — the Self, the Story, the Philosophy, and the Team — are the roots of powerful, heart-led leadership. If even one is missing, things feel shaky. But when they’re in alignment? You become unstoppable.
If you're navigating leadership — whether in your family, your business, or your own healing journey — just know this: you don’t have to be loud to be respected. You just have to be real, clear, and intentional. Want help embodying this in your life or business? Let’s talk — my 15-minute clarity call is free and a beautiful first step.
